Mandate letter: Alberta Minister of Future Sovereignty (Page 2)

Stand by for shocking allegations about Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Mandate letter: Alberta Minister of Future Sovereignty (Page 1)

Section 121 states: All Articles of the Growth, Produce, or Manufacture of any one of the Provinces shall, from and after the Union, be admitted free into each of the other Provinces. Section 121 is short, and the words are clear: all goods from any province shall be admitted free into any other. Do these goods include oil from Alberta? Evidently not...

Recap: Review Canada’s constitution with respect to the Powers of Parliament, and prepare Albertans to run their own country.

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June 15, 2027

The Honourable Arthur Wellesley
Minister of Future Sovereignty

• Regulation of Trade/Commerce OK, I think this is that bit in the constitution that allows for free trade, and unencumbered passage of goods between the existing provinces. Hmmm…just don’t worry about that then ‘cause it’s not enforced anyway (that’s why it’s so tough to get our goods to tidewater). Seriously, if you do nothing it won’t be any worse than it already is. Except don’t screw up my wine shipment from BC every month. Somehow that gets to me without all the tax I’m supposed to pay.

• Unemployment Insurance Should be easy to put this one in the “WIN” column. Canada’s Employment Insurance scheme relies on disproportionate contributions from Albertans. Minister, you can sell this one without my help. One thing though – consider instituting individual Unemployment Insurance Saving Accounts for Albertans.

• Direct/Indirect Taxation This will be a tough sell for you. Albertans will be saddened if they no longer must get to remit taxes to Ottawa. Perhaps you can soften the blow by rejigging the tax return. Something a little simpler perhaps than the tax returns we’re currently forced to endure. I hear Estonia has a good system. Who knew there’s more to the Baltics than saunas? Here’s a thought – we (and by we, I mean you) should make the tax return simple enough that it will fit on one 8 ½ x 11 sheet of paper. And be sure to let Albertans know they will no longer have to send in an extra $5K each per year for the ruling party in Ottawa to buy votes in Toronto and Montreal.

• Postal Service We’re going to miss those disgruntled postal workers, that’s for sure. Their $548 million loss before tax? Not so much. It’s your ministry, minister, but if you want to remain Minister of Future Sovereignty then you will first prepare an RFP, and then make sure it crosses someone’s desk at UPS, FedEx and DHL. Purolator is owned by Canada Post, and will likely go to Quebec in the divorce settlement – so don’t bother with Purolator.

• Census/Statistics Statistically Albertans preferred the short-form census introduced by Prime Minister Harper. The only people who liked the long-form census worked for StatsCan. Sadly, we must bid those bureaucrats adieu. So, scotch the long-form census.

• Defence Alberta will be hard pressed to match Canada’s storied military history. In fact, Canada is hard pressed to match Canada’s storied military history. On the veldt in South Africa, Vimy Ridge, Juno Beach, Kapyong, Medak Pocket, Operation Medusa, Toronto Garrison Men’s Room – all battles fought and won. Minister, in the unlikely event of conflict, I have no doubt Alberta’s men will hasten to the battlements and rekindle our regiments of yesteryear –

  • The North Alberta Regiment

  • The 19^th Alberta Dragoons

  • The South Alberta Regiment

  • The Rocky Mountain Rangers

Mandate Letter Page 3 will drop soon. Find out about the Royal Albertan Navy. Will it be a blue water navy? Only if we add blue food dye to Lake Athabasca. Ready, Aye, Ready!